As a writer, the online writing community is an important source of encouragement and feedback. Feedback is the breakfast of champions. But there are times when feedback is negative. When you find a particular online writing community forum or site that becomes like a family to you, it can feel especially hurtful. Sometimes negative feedback is worthy of your most honest consideration. Other times it is just unkind ranting and projections of the irresponsible and immature.
As an online writer, you are tuned into words and probably a mite bit more emotionally sensitive than a non-artist type. So you may take verbal and written criticism a little hard. As wonderful and helpful as the world of the internet is, online communication presents a double edged sword that makes misunderstanding and offense much more likely on line.
On one hand, people writing alone don’t have the natural filters that come with being face to face. Have you ever written an angry letter that spells out exactly what you think is wrong with someone else’s behavior, and then decided to talk in person and found that somehow you were able to find words to say the same thing more diplomatically in person? It’s ironic because in writing we have more time to think. But face to face, we are fully in touch with our natural human instinct not to harm each other (or to try to avoid the anger we might get in return. On line, people say whatever they want because in writing it seems less severe to the writer, and there is less fear of natural consequences. You can always walk away from the computer. Less so with a yelling person right in front of you!
Sadly, though words can seem less biting to the writer, they usually seem more biting to the reader. With words on a page, there is always a range of affect that the reader can interpret. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, we often seem to imagine the worst possible intentions and tone of voice. We’ve all experienced that emotionally charged topics are better handled in person.
But this limitation of online writing communities turns out to be a blessing in disguise. The thing written communication has going for it is that you get to think before you react and choose your words carefully. If you do this, you can use online criticism as an opportunity to enhance your self-awareness, communication skills, conflict resolution skills, and writing skills.
Watch yourself imagining the tone of voice and intention in what you are reading. Practice trying on a range of possibilities. Reflect on how your readers may read your characters or narration. Remember that these strangers on line could be anyone. They may very well be people that you wouldn’t take seriously for an instant if you met them. Practice getting that thick skin that is much needed for artists. This tends to come with practice getting rejected over and over and over. Rejection and criticism can become a non-event when you’re used to it, especially if you also have your share of accolades, friendships, and support. Notice how often our criticisms are only projections and reflections of ourselves. Develop an attitude that the criticism may be well founded or not. Worth considering because everything that could possibly make your writing better is worth considering, not because the criticizer has any particular insight. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. If you are willing to try on any and all ideas, then you can comfortably reject those that you know don’t fit.
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